doronn55
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17:59 22.07.02 |
  
 
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Only in America, plus things to wonder
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עבר עריכה לאחרונה בתאריך 22.07.02 בשעה 18:00
Subject: Only in America, plus things to ponder...
1. Only in America.....can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning
'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
EVER WONDER
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping; (and that's the only time
I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary details
inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." and that would
be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down"
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating.";
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the
rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." and...I'm taking this
because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as
opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chain-saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even
a chuckle) In other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every
once in a while.
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מכתב זה והנלווה אליו, על אחריות ועל דעת הכותב בלבד