בדיחות מובחרות באנגלית לשיפור המצב רוח  

2)
Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives
at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda
one summer evening, watching the sun set.
The history professor asked the psychology professor,
"Have you read Marx?"
To which the professor of psychology replied,
"Yes and I think it's these pesky wicker chairs."

3)
A couple of Texas hunters are out in the woods when
one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be
breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy.
I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead..."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The hunter says, "OK, now what?"

4)
This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go into town and party
with his old buddies.
So he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."
"Where are you going Coochy Cooh...?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens
the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer
brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can
think of saying is,
"Yes, Honey Pie...but the bar you know...the frozen glass..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by
saying, "You want a frozen glass Puppy Face?" She takes a mug
out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
be long I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres Pookie Pooh?" She opens the oven and
takes out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs
in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But Sweetie, Honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty
words and all that. .."

"You want dirty words Cutie Pie?
..HERE, DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN
FUCKING MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS,
BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!
GOT IT ASSHOLE?!!"

5)
A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for
her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By
following her he found out she was working in a whorehouse.
The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $100?" The
cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?".

The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the
whorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the
cab and take them home. So the cabbie goes in.

A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open,
and the cabbie is dragging this women out who is kicking,
biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab. The
cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and
tells the man, "Here hold her!!"

The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, "THIS
AIN'T MY WIFE".