chupa
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18:17 25.03.02 |
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מייל חזק...
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> > > > >>> > >A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband > >>> > >leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The > >>> > >wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over > >>> > >too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband > >>> > >was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really > >>> > >works!" > >>> > > > >>> > >My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we > >>> > >met. > >>> > > > >>> > >A good wife always forgives her husband when she's > >>> > >wrong. > >>> > > > >>> > >I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a > >>> > >jury. > >>> > > > >>> > >I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There > >>> > >was water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? > >>> > >She said, In the lake. > >>> > > > >>> > >Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. > >>> > > > >>> > >My mother buried three husbands, and two of them > >>> > >were just napping. > >>> > > > >>> > >The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. > >>> > >I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared > >>> > >for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought > >>> > >jewelry. > >>> > > > >>> > >My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. > >>> > > > >>> > >Getting married is very much like going to a continental > >>> > >restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then > >>> > >when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you > >>> > >had ordered that. > >>> > > > >>> > >At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't > >>> > >you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" > >>> > >The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." > >>> > > > >>> > >Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his > >>> > >bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. > >>> > > > >>> > >A little boy asked his father, "Dad, how much does it > >>> > >cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't > >>> > >know, son, I'm still paying for it." > >>> > > > >>> > >Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of > >>> > >Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries > >>> > >her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son. > >>> > > > >>> > >A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the > >>> > >husband gives and the wife takes. > >>> > > > >>> > >Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of > >>> > >marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In > >>> > >the second year, the woman speaks and the man > >>> > >listens. In the third year, they both speak and the > >>> > >neighbors listen. > >>> > > > >>> > >After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I > >>> > >was a fool when I married you." And the husband > >>> > >replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice > >>> > >it." > >>> > > > >>> > >A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". > >>> > >Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said > >>> > >the same thing: "You can have mine." > >>> > > > >>> > >A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his > >>> > >wife, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!" The wife > >>> > >excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm > >>> > >weather? He says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!" > >>> > > > >>> > >Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his > >>> > >second wife to his success. > >>> > > > >>> > >I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. > >>> > >That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. > >>> > > > >>> > >A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is > >>> > >finished. > >>> > > > >>> > >Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. > >>> > > > >>> > >When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge > >>> > >than to let him keep her. > >>> > > > >>> > >Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The > >>> > >rest cheat in Europe. > >>> > > > >>> > >After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a > >>> > >coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay > >>> > >together. > >>> > > > >>> > >A successful man is one who makes more money than > >>> > >his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who > >>> > >can find such a man. > >>> > > > >>> > >Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, > >>> > >wedding ring, and suffering. > >>> > > > >>> > >Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; > >>> > >the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. > >>> > > > >>> > >Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are > >>> > >thunder and lightning. > >>> > > > >>> > >Do not marry a person that you know that you can live > >>> > >with; only marry someone that you cannot live without. > >>> > > > >>> > >I had some words with my wife, and she had some > >>> > >paragraphs with me. > >>> > > > >>> > >Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what > >>> > >real happiness was until I got married; and then it was > >>> > >too late".
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